No Regrets
by Chi-san1
Summary: A tender Yukiru love story ...
1. The Lake

Disclaimer: This piece of work is not to be sold in any from. There's no authorization by Takaya Natsuki or Hana to Yume Comics. It's only for personal reading.  
  
Author's note: This is my very first fic and I don't know very much about Fruits Basket yet (in some points Germany is still behind the moon) so, please, don't kill me if something's wrong about the characters. I originally wrote this story in German cause my vocabulary is a lot better in my native language (and the flow is better, too). I tried my best in translating but if anyone wants to have the story just look at ff.net! Thank you, CarlaVIII, for your corrections and helpful suggestions!  
  
Rating: PG 13 (varying according to chapter)  
  
  
  
No Regrets  
  
Chapter one: The Lake  
  
He had never felt so lonely before as he had in the past two months. Although he saw her every day and they sometimes chatted, even teased each other from time to time, he felt very lonesome. About two months ago, she had left to visit a friend for the weekend. In those few days he had found out that every hour, every minute without her was unbearable. He was taken by the fact that he had lied to himself for a very long time, pretending that he didn't care more about her than about anyone else. He dreamed about her at night, and during the day he sometimes caught himself looking at her secretly through the corner of his eye. He would always shrug it off by reminding himself she was the only female inhabitant of the house.  
  
But since that weekend he had given up lying to himself. However, was it any better now? On the contrary: for those two months he dragged himself from day to day, unable to confess his love to her. He didn't want to endanger their friendship, didn't want to lose her. He tried to avoid her. He couldn't be alone with her anymore because he always felt the need to touch her. That mustn't happen.  
  
So he carried his burden and hoped nobody would notice.  
  
And today had been the same. When he came home he found the house deserted. First he was surprised because there was always something going on at the Sohma-house but the silence was a welcome change.  
  
It was so hot and humid outside that he was sweating terribly simply from sitting. So he decided to take a shower to cool off. Since no one was in the house today who could eventually pop into the bathroom, he didn't lock the door. Maybe he hoped a little bit that SHE would come home.  
  
The cool water pearled from his body. It felt so good to cool down a little bit. He longed for not having to be alone. It would be so nice if she was here with him under the shower, her naked body next to his, to kiss and caress. Maybe they could even . He twisted the knob half a turn towards cold, so he wouldn't fantasize about her anymore. No, that would hurt her honor; it wouldn't be proper to think of her that way. She was so kind, so natural in the way she coped with all the males that were surrounding her every day. If she just felt a little bit for him like he felt for her, wouldn't that be like heaven on earth? He pushed that thought away so he didn't have to turn the water even colder.  
  
When he dried himself after a quarter of an hour in the cold shower, the house was still empty.  
  
In the beginning he had liked the silence but now it became unnerving. And the humid heat wasn't any better, either.  
  
Out. Out, he had to get out of the house.  
  
So he got dressed quickly and stepped out the back door. No human soul was anywhere near. He thought briefly about what direction he should take and decided to walk down to the lake. If the heat got any worse he could cool down in the water. That would probably be more satisfying than the shower that was already wearing off.  
  
He strolled down the path through the forest, brooding about his situation. The shade of the trees made the heat slightly more bearable, but not his thoughts. What, what could he do? His thoughts only circled around HER and his feelings for her. But how could he show her what she meant to him without hurting her or risking their friendship? What should he do? He had never felt so terrible before.  
  
He could live with Akito's behavior. When his cousin wanted to get into a fight that was all right. Those were situations and feelings he was almost used to.  
  
But what if she would accept his love? Would they have to keep it a secret from Akito? He thought of Hatori whose love had ended in a terrible disaster. Would he be able to bear that? On the other hand Akito also accepted the fact that she knew their secret and even lived in their house.  
  
And there were his cousins. Would they agree to their relationship? Kyou would be jealous, and Shigure would probably want to tell Akito right away.  
  
But that was thinking too far ahead. She still didn't know about his love and he didn't know how to tell her.  
  
Lost in his thoughts, he walked down the path.  
  
***************************************************  
  
What had happened? Why did he treat her so strangely? It started two months ago. She had returned from a weekend at Hana-chan's, and ever since then he had behaved in a weird way. Although he pretended that everything was ok, there was something different about him. Maybe it was the way he laughed or looked at her when she eventually turned in his direction. She just didn't know what was wrong.  
  
Tohru was on her way back home from her part-time job at the hotel. Luckily, it was still early. Sometimes she had to walk through the creepy forest in the dark, but today it was still bright although she was suffering from the heat. She was sweating terribly. Hopefully a thunderstorm tonight would put an end to her suffering. At least to the physical ones. Her worries would stay.  
  
She opened the front door: "Tadaima!" No answer. She was a little astonished because of the silence in the house. Usually the TV was on, Yuki and Kyou were fighting, and Shigure was straying through the rooms looking for inspiration. But today there was nothing. Then she remembered that Shigure had an appointment with Mit-chan today. But where were Kyou and Yuki? Slightly irritated, she went up to her room and undressed. She thought briefly about taking a shower but then she thought better of it: the small lake in the forest. It would be refreshingly cool, exactly the right thing for such a hot summer day. So she put on a light dress, got a towel and went through the back door into the forest.  
  
Her thoughts returned to HIM. What exactly had happened that weekend? She was sure that this love for him that she had felt for a so long was well hidden. What else could she do? She was so thankful that she had a real home again that she didn't want to risk that by having a complicated relationship with one of her housemates. It was enough for her to have him around her every day. What else could she wish for? He was such a nice person, so considerate and polite. Had she said anything imprudent that had insulted or embarrassed him? She couldn't remember, but sometimes her mouth was faster than her head, and she had an extraordinary talent for embarrassing herself.  
  
Oh, no, that would be terrible! What if she lost him now? What if he hated her now and just tolerated her in the house because the others liked her so much? Could that be possible?  
  
She knew that her place was only as a guest in the house. Although she didn't know why Akito let that happen, or what kind of a plan he had, she was sure that she would come home one day and Hatori would be waiting for her with a serious expression on his face. He would erase all her memories of the Sohma, all her memories of HIM. That's why she lived every day with Kyou, Yuki and Shigure as if it was her last in their midst.  
  
She wanted nothing more than to touch HIM, hear his voice and just look at him. His beautiful face, his expressive eyes, and his slim hands never left her thoughts. Even now that his behavior towards her had become strange she couldn't just flip a switch and turn off her love for him. His laughter sometimes sounded so artificial; his eyes didn't laugh anymore. He avoided any physical contact as if she had an infectious disease. Of course he couldn't know how much he hurt her. Now that she thought about it, she recalled that she hadn't been alone with him at anytime during those two months. Before that he sometimes walked her home from the hotel, or they had worked together in his little garden. Once Yuki had tried to help her with the cooking. She had given him mushrooms and he had almost severed his finger trying to cut them! He had been terribly embarrassed about her having to dress his wounds. He had just wanted to help her out. She was very happy that he had been spending time with her. Afterwards he had watched her cook dinner and made a few jokes. Back then his laughter had been real and his eyes had twinkled. Oh, how had she enjoyed those moments.  
  
But for now, those times were over. She noticed that a lump was building in her throat and she was close to crying.  
  
***************************************************  
  
Totally lost in his thoughts, he arrived at the lake that beckoned him with its cool water. It wasn't a very big lake; you could swim across it with about twenty good strokes. But it was close. It stood in the middle of the forest only a ten minute walk from the Sohma-house. The limbs of the trees bowed in arcs ending only yards from the water below. The lake was circled by a shore that was overgrown with grass.  
  
It was so isolated that he hadn't brought his swimming trunks. Few people even knew of the place, an it was usually deserted. He had few, if any, reservations about skinny dipping here, especially not today.  
  
He took off his clothes and put them neatly on a large stone so they wouldn't get dirty. He walked slowly into the water that played coolly around his feet. This HAD been a very good idea. He went further, slowly so he wouldn't get shocked from the cold and wet his skin with the cool water. Then he dived softly into the water. Ah, what a relief! Superb! With his strong arms he made his strokes through the lake.  
  
He swam to the opposite shore and back. The water was almost too cold and he wanted to warm up a little before he swam another round.  
  
He swam to where his clothes were lying, and when he felt solid ground under his feet again he started wading out of the water. He almost had reached the stone where he wanted to sit down and dry in the sun when he noticed a figure in the shadow of the trees. The person was coming closer und he recognized her. He froze dead in his tracks. Oh no! Had she seen him? He was totally naked! How embarrassing!  
  
She continued without slowing down. Maybe she hadn't seen him after all. He moved quickly to the stone and gathered his clothes, covering his bareness. Why HER of all people?  
  
***************************************************  
  
"Honda-san?"  
  
She was startled out of her thoughts and tried to look through the curtain of tears in her eyes. Obviously, her feet had carried her to the lake while she was lost in her thoughts.  
  
A person was standing by the shore - HIM, practically naked, just holding up one hand with his clothes in them in front of his...*blush*. She panicked. What could she do now? Although she had longed for being alone with him again, this situation was far too embarrassing.  
  
She had only one thought: away! She spun around and ran back into the forest.  
  
"Honda-san! Wait!"  
  
She didn't know how to react. So she just kept her pace.  
  
"HONDA-SAN! Just wait a minute!"  
  
Why did she have to show up now? Embarrassing was a far too understated expression for this situation. But maybe this was a hint from fate. Maybe he shouldn't let this opportunity pass.  
  
She stood still, with her back turned towards him.  
  
"Wait till I got dressed, please! I have to talk to you!"  
  
Because she didn't know what else to do, she just stood in the same place. What would he say to her? Would he tell her that she should keep out of his space in the future? That would be the most devastating thing that could happen to her. She prayed it wouldn't end like that. She wiped away the tears from her eyes so he wouldn't see she had been crying.  
  
"Honda-san, would you come here, please?"  
  
He had put on his pants in a hurry. His shirt wasn't buttoned; she could see his bare skin beneath it. She went slowly into his direction.  
  
He pointed to a big stone next to him. "Please, sit down."  
  
She sat down on it while he knelt down in front of her..  
  
There was total silence for a moment.  
  
She prepared herself to hear the worst.  
  
"Honda-san, I know I've avoided you lately. I don't want you to think I don't want to have anything to do with you anymore. In fact it's the exact opposite. I. I." his voice failed. Now he had come so far! If he let this opportunity pass, he might never have the courage to talk to her again. He pulled himself together. "I love you, Tohru!"  
  
What? Out of all things she had expected, this was the last! She was stunned but inside everything was dancing boogie-woogie. A shiver flashed down her spine and she felt her face getting hotter. She was turning red like a ripe tomato. What should she answer him? I love you, too? That would be a pure understatement. She wanted to tell him how much she loved him, how much she had suffered.  
  
"I know this is very shocking for you. But, please, don't be angry with me! This was very selfish of me. I shouldn't have told you. Gomen nasai!"  
  
Oh no! He misinterpreted her silence! She wanted to say so much but she didn't know where to start. Her thoughts ran amok, she couldn't think clearly anymore. She was overwhelmed by his confession. What should she say to convince him that she felt the same for him? Oh no, she had to say something. She opened her mouth.  
  
"I'm sorry, Honda-san. It was a mistake. I shouldn't have told you. I think the best would be for me to leave."  
  
"No!" He looked at her, surprised. She was red from embarrassment, tears twinkles in her eyes. "No, stay! Don't go away.ever!"  
  
Tears rolled down her face. Should she tell him? She pulled herself together.  
  
"I love you, too, Yuki-kun," she whispered.  
  
He looked at her, astonished. Did he hear that right?  
  
"I love you, too. I have for a very long time now. But I couldn't tell you. You were too important to me, I didn't want to lose you just by making a silly confession. It was enough for me to be near you. But you were behaving so strangely lately. You were so unpredictable. I thought you hated me!"  
  
"I'm really sorry. Honestly. But I didn't know what I should do. I didn't know I hurt you that badly. I couldn't be alone with you anymore because I thought you would notice my feelings for you. I didn't want to risk our friendship. I'm very, very sorry."  
  
"It's not so bad anymore. Now I can be near you again."  
  
Yuki smiled softly. With his right hand he turned her face in his direction and looked deeply into her eyes. "Tohru-san, I love you with all my heart."  
  
"I love you with all my heart, Yuki-kun."  
  
Happily, he took her hand in his. It was warm and soft. It was so wonderful to finally be able to touch her. They sat at the shore, silently, and enjoyed each other's presence.  
  
The heat was still horrible but a slight breeze was coming up, making it slightly more bearable.  
  
He caressed her hand and smiled thankfully at her face. He felt light like a feather and his feet would probably barely touch the ground at all on their way back. He wondered if she was feeling the same.  
  
The wind was picking up and with a concerned look towards the sky he saw black clouds over the trees. The sun was still shining through the forest on the other side of the lake. The shape of the trees in front of the dark background looked like it was cut out of paper. A swarm of doves circled over the forest and seemed in this strange light as if silver was sparkling in the sky. He stared at it as if hypnotized by this view.  
  
Neither of them said a word, afraid of breaking the magic.  
  
Suddenly lightning cut through the black sky like a jagged sword. Yuki noticed that Tohru jerked a little, startled by the following thunder.  
  
"I think we should go home before it starts raining!" he said.  
  
"Hai! Let's go fast then!"  
  
They ran through the forest, hand in hand, on the same path they had each walked alone. A lot had changed in the last half hour. Both had been depressed and sad when they had gone to the lake and now they barely noticed the ground under their feet because they were so happy. They didn't get far before the first big raindrops fell down on the trees over them.  
  
"Hayaku!!! We'll be soaked through even before we reach the edge of the forest!" They ran as fast as their legs would carry them. Above them, the heavens opened and rain splattered down. It was flashing and thundering badly. The storm was coming closer.  
  
When Yuki and Tohru finally reached the back door of the house they were wet to the bones. Quickly they opened the door and hurried inside. "Shi- san? Kyou-san? Is anybody home?" No answer. Still nobody was here.  
  
Breathless and shivering from the sudden cold, they stood in the living room with water dripping from their soaked clothes.  
  
He noticed that her wet dress was clinging tightly to her body. Unable to look away, he stared at her from top to bottom. He could see her small firm breasts that were usually covered unrecognizably, her flat stomach, the soft curves of her hips. He could barely hold himself back. He wanted to take her upstairs into his room right now and help her get rid of those wet clothes.  
  
"Ano, we should put on something dry or we'll catch a cold!" Tohru said, slightly blushed. Had she noticed his glances?  
  
Yuki took her chin and raised her head. "Wait just for a minute." He bent down to her and kissed her cheek very softly. His lips barely touched her skin. Tohru, blushing, turned her head away. But he turned it back, slowly. He bent down again but this time he aimed at another spot. He pressed his lips very lightly on hers.  
  
How much he had longed to kiss her! Sweat trickled down his back and he had armies of butterflies in his stomach.  
  
First she made small attempts to protest but then she answered his kiss. The time of pain and deprivation was over. They had finally found each other.  
  
Surprised, he noticed that she opened her lips. Something warm and soft was caressing his mouth. He opened it and their tongues met. This would soon drive him crazy. He felt hot although he was totally wet and had been freezing just a second ago. He embraced her to feel her body next to his. Her warmth, her scent made him lose his senses.  
  
Puff. A cloud of smoke appeared. That had been a short pleasure. But it also had been more than worth it.  
  
Tohru awakened as from a trance and her face turned into the color of sweet cherries. "Oh, I really should go and change now." Embarrassed, she looked away. "And I should mop the floor. You can put your clothes directly into the washing-machine."  
  
"Arigatoo, Tohru-san!" He had never thought he would be happy one day when he turned into a mouse. But now it was different. Everything was different. He had felt her so close like never before. And he could still feel her kiss on his lips. "Arigatoo!"  
  
"Oh, that's nothing! I have to wash my own clothes as well, and I just want to remove the puddles on the floor. That's no work at all." She disappeared through the door and went upstairs.  
  
Yuki smiled. That was so typically Tohru. But it also was one of the reasons why he had fallen in love with her.  
  
  
  
Next: Opportunity  
  
Will their love survive the every-day-life at the Sohma-house? 


	2. Opportunity

Disclaimer: This piece of work is not to be sold in any from. There's no authorization by Takaya Natsuki or Hana to Yume Comics. It's only for personal reading.  
  
Author's note: This is the second chapter of my fic. Sorry it took me so long. If you want to read the first chapter go to ff.net. Thanks to CarlaVII for beta-reading!!!! You were very helpful!  
  
Rating: PG 13 (varying according to chapter)  
  
No Regrets  
  
II. Opportunity  
  
Yuki lay awake for a very long time that night. Now that his melancholy had vanished into thin air, other, even worse worries were bothering him. He was concerned about Tohru and their young love. What would happen if Akito found out about them? Akito was so obscure and his reactions unpredictable. Yuki's thoughts turned towards Hatori.  
  
Hatori's love had ended more than tragically. Hatori had been really happy with Kana. You could even see it in his actions and expressions. Kana had been so good for him. The two had been a perfect couple. But Akito hadn't allowed them to be happy. Now Hatori was sad most of the time, he rarely smiled. Of course that was understandable. He had lost everything that had to do with his love. Kana would never remember the time they had spent together. Although she still knew Hatori, she didn't know that they had been in love. Hatori had to be very, very lonely.  
  
But still Yuki couldn't understand him. All of that was Akito's fault. Why hadn't Hatori defended himself? Why hadn't he protected their love? Hatori had caved in and wasn't even angry about losing his eyesight. He blamed himself instead of the real culprit.  
  
No. Hatori's way wasn't his. Yuki clenched his fists. He would defend his happiness. Akito had mistreated him enough. No one would take Tohru away from him. Now that they finally found each other, no one would tear them apart. Although Akito was the head of the clan he wasn't all-mighty. There would be a way to get around him.  
  
But would rejection and destruction of Yuki's happiness really be Akito's reaction? Maybe he would act in a totally different way. Tohru was living with them, after all, she knew about the curse and Akito hadn't done anything about it.  
  
Yuki was desperate. Akito's character was so incomprehensible and his actions were impulsive. It was even possible that he would accept Yuki's relationship with Tohru.  
  
What should he do now? On the one hand, there was the possibility that Akito would react like he did with Hatori. On the other hand he might not do anything at all.  
  
It would be best if they would keep their relationship a secret. This way they would /shun/(avoid) a confrontation with the head of the clan.  
  
Yuki didn't like the idea of misleading Shigure and Kyou at all. But he couldn't risk it. Shigure would tell Akito at once, and Kyou would probably give it away by accident.  
  
But if Akito found out afterwards that Yuki and Tohru had had a relationship going on behind his back, he would probably be even angrier than if they had told him right away. That would lead to an even worse reaction. Maybe that wasn't the best way after all.  
  
Frustrated about the tricky position he was in, he punched his pillow. But all his brooding was leading nowhere and it was getting late. How could he find peace when his thoughts were just turning in circles so he couldn't find a solution?  
  
He leaned back and thought harder, trying to calm down at the same time.  
  
What would Tohru do if she were in his shoes? She would proceed cautiously. Don't think about it too much. Maybe that was the right answer. Time would bring a solution. Was that the right way? It probably wasn't the best way to solve the problem but he couldn't think of anything better.  
  
He decided to wait and see. Wait and see what time would bring. Certainly they would find an acceptable solution someday. But for now they should keep their secret and wait until they had a better way out.  
  
Tomorrow he would talk about it with Tohru. She would understand. Maybe she even had an idea about how to go on.  
  
Relieved, he pushed his worries aside and thought about the past afternoon and his first kiss with Tohru. Slowly, sleep embraced him and carried him away.  
  
***************************************************  
  
He had dreamed about her all night. About her eyes, her lips, her body which he had been able to hold in his arms for a short while.  
  
He didn't want to get up; he wanted to stay in bed and just dream about her all day long. The opportunities to be alone with her wouldn't be numerous. Hopefully he would be able to keep himself from touching her all the time.  
  
The smell of fresh tea and breakfast was wandering through the house. A loud groan from his stomach made him understand it was time to get up. So he got dressed and went down into the kitchen.  
  
His heart jumped when he saw her again. Tohru, who was his now. She was standing at the stove with her back turned to him, her head slightly bent down. The nape of her neck was very tempting, and Yuki felt the urge to kiss it. But Baka-neko could come down the stairs any moment so he resisted.  
  
"Ohayoo, Honda-san!" he greeted her with a loudly. She turned around at the sound of his voice and gave him a beaming smile. He listened closely for a second. Kyou wasn't on his way yet. He stepped closer to Tohru and bent down to her: "Good morning, Tohru-san, my love." he whispered in her ear.  
  
She giggled. His breath tickled her. "A good morning to you, too, Yuki- kun." She said softly.  
  
Yuki took a step back before somebody could come through the door. How much he wanted to kiss her little mouth right now!  
  
He remembered the decision made last night. "Tohru, I need to talk to you. It's important."  
  
She looked at him, astonished. "What is it about?"  
  
"About us and ."  
  
Loud steps rumbling down the stairs made him become silent. "Later."  
  
The door was pushed aside harshly. "Ohayoo! Is the food ready?"  
  
Yuki couldn't stop wondering why such a gentle and soft being like a cat was embodied by his cousin Kyou.  
  
"Don't be so loud! It's still early and you'll get your meal soon enough, Baka-neko!"  
  
The hair on Kyou's neck stood up; he hissed. He would probably start to attack Yuki any moment.  
  
"Breakfast is ready!" Tohru's soft voice announced. "Would you set the table, please, Kyou-kun?"  
  
Kyou sent Yuki a dirty look and started doing as he was told.  
  
"Ah, the smell of homemade cooking! Originally I had intended to sleep a little longer but the smell is just irresistible! That's one of the big advantages if you have a woman in the house!" Shigure entered the room. " Ohayoo, everybody!"  
  
He knelt down at the table and got a head start at his breakfast.  
  
"Itadakimasu!"  
  
The others followed his example. Everything went as normal, apart from the fact that Yuki glowed inside. He didn't stop himself from throwing a glance at Tohru from time. When their eyes met she was embarrassed and quickly turned her gaze downwards into her bowl. It was so cute to see how fast she blushed. His heart glowed even more with love.  
  
"Yuki-kun, are you getting a cold? Your face is so red!" Shigure was concerned.  
  
"Erm, what? No, no, it's nothing. I'm fine! That's just the hot tea." Yuki tried to calm himself down. He was sure his face just turned an even deeper shade of red.  
  
"Are you sure? You know that a cold can be very dangerous. Maybe you should stay home today." Shigure insistently pushed the issue.  
  
"No, no, I'm really feeling fine! Honestly!" Yuki prayed Shigure would let go of the subject now.  
  
"If you say so. Anyway, work is calling. Mit-chan wants to have three new chapters by tomorrow. Gochisoosama!" he got up and slid open the door. "If I finish earlier than I thought, I'll go see Hatori at the Honke. Could get late then. Have fun at school!" With these words he closed the door.  
  
"We should get ready for school," said Yuki when the footsteps edged off.  
  
"Hai!" Tohru got up and started to clear the table.  
  
"Let me help you!" Yuki gathered a few plates and went into the kitchen where he placed them in the sink.  
  
Kyou left the room as fast as he could. He didn't want to have anything to do with housework.  
  
Yuki couldn't believe his luck! They were alone! Although it was for only a few minutes, he wanted to savor them. Their conversation could wait. Time was too short now anyway. He took the pile of dishes Tohru was carrying in her arms. He put them down and turned towards her. His hands took hers. A huge swarm of butterflies had found a new home in his stomach. Now he could finally do what he hadn't dared to earlier: tenderly he kissed her neck.  
  
"Yuki-kun. don't! What if Kyou returns to the kitchen right now?" she shooed him away.  
  
"He won't. If he did, there would be the chance that he had to help doing the dishes!"  
  
He couldn't help himself. Her skin was so silky and warm. Her smell took his breath away. He couldn't stop kissing her softly. She giggled and let it happen. His lips touched her skin as tenderly as the brush of a butterfly's wing. She smelled slightly like flower, which almost made him lose his senses.  
  
She enjoyed his kissed with her eyes closed.  
  
A door slammed shut upstairs.  
  
That brought both of them back to their senses.  
  
"Yuki-kun, we have to hurry! We'll be late for school!" she carefully pushed him away. But he bent down fast and stole a kiss from her lips. Then he let her go.  
  
"Aaaaahhh, we haven't even started doing the dishes yet! Oh no! And there's still more stuff on the table! Now we really have to get going!" Tohru slightly panicked.  
  
Like a hurricane she did the housework she had totally forgotten about earlier.  
  
Yuki watched her, amused. He'd better not try and help her. His attempts to lend her a hand had always ended with her having to do even more work. Either she had to sweep (up) broken dishes or she had to dress his wounds. So he just observed.  
  
"Hey, we have to leave!" Kyou called from the hall.  
  
"Ittekimasu!" The three of them left the house and went down the /way/(path?) through the forest to their school.  
  
***************************************************  
  
"Your waves are totally different today."  
  
Tohru, Uotani and Hanajima were standing in a corner of their classroom.  
  
"Eeehhhhh?" Tohru didn't quite understand what Hana-chan was talking about.  
  
"The frequencies I receive from you and Yuki are different than normal. Especially, Yuki's are not so distanced anymore. Did something happen?"  
  
"Why?" Tohru still didn't really understand what this was all about.  
  
"Why? That's what I'm asking you!" Hanajima was impatient.  
  
"Tell us about it!" Uotani urged her. "Did you confess your love to him?"  
  
"Eeehhhhh? What.? How.? Since when.? Where from.? Why.?" Tohru babbled, unable to put her surprise into words. Probably she had turned a deep red.  
  
"Hey, did you think we hadn't noticed? We're your friends! We knew for a long time that you had fallen for him. We just didn't tell you because we didn't want to embarrass you. But now tell us what happened!" Uotani was nosy.  
  
"Erm, yes, erm, well, yesterday." Tohru explained what had happened the previous day.  
  
When she had finished her friends looked at her, happily.  
  
"That's really a wonderful happy ending!"  
  
"Uo-chan, that was only the beginning! Even I don't know how this will develop. Everything is so new to me! I don't know what to do!"  
  
"Tohru-chan, just be yourself. Tohru should do things Tohru's way. Then everything will be just fine." Hanajima calmed her down.  
  
"Thank you, the both of you!" She was happy to have such kind friends although they sometimes seemed to know more than she did.  
  
The rest of the day at school she spent doing really important things: watching Yuki. She couldn't concentrate on the lessons at all. And sometimes it seemed like he was watching her, too.  
  
***************************************************  
  
"Shall we walk home together?"  
  
What a question! Of course she wanted to walk home with Yuki! And if Kyou didn't come they would even be able to hold hands!  
  
"Hai! That would be very nice!" Tohru was looking forward to the touch of his hand.  
  
"Oi! You don't mind if I join?" Kyou came from the other side of the room to meet them.  
  
"No, why should we?" Tohru smiled and hoped he wouldn't notice her disappointment. Well, maybe next time.  
  
On their way home Kyou walked between Tohru and Yuki. And as always Kyou moaned about the girls in their class who surrounded him in great numbers. He had already gained a lot of common sense but he still wasn't really used to interacting with other people.  
  
The rest of the day Tohru was occupied by her homework and chores. Kyou and Yuki minded their own businesses; Shigure obviously had finished his chapters early and had disappeared.  
  
When she sat down in front of the TV in the evening she was exhausted. Yuki and Kyou were having a lively discussion about the upcoming sports meeting at school. Kyou was overjoyed that he was given another chance to match with Yuki.  
  
"I'll beat you this time! I'll finally do it! This will be the victory over the damn mouse!" Kyous voice was getting louder.  
  
"Hai, hai! As you say. Could you, please, shut up now? I want to watch this movie!" Yuki tried to silence him and turned towards the TV.  
  
"I'll do my very best to finally be better than you. I'll win!"  
  
Tohru sighed. It was always the same. Every time Kyou tried to battle with Yuki he lost. But he didn't want to accept that so he tried again and again.  
  
She tried to concentrate on the movie but Yuki's presence was making her nervous. She wanted to be near him again, wanted to touch and be touched. How long would it be until they were alone again? She was looking forward to that and told herself not to be sad about the fact that the occasions would be rare. At least she could see him everyday and talk to him although that wasn't under four eyes.  
  
She sat back, her eyes staring at the TV, but her thoughts were with Yuki who was sitting so close to her but yet unreachable.  
  
A slight touch on her hand made her jump up. What was that? Startled, she turned and found she was looking into Yuki's warm eyes. He smiled and nodded in Kyou's direction. The cat was lying on the floor, fast asleep. Yuki giggled. "He was so thrilled by the thought he could be victorious against me that he finally fell asleep."  
  
As if in agreement, a short snore escaped the cat's mouth. Tohru started giggling, too. When Kyou was asleep he looked like an angel. Kawaii!  
  
She turned her eyes back on Yuki. He looked seriously at her: "I have been waiting the whole day long for an opportunity to be alone with you! Finally! I have something very important to talk about with you. It's about us and our future. I thought a long time last night about how we should act when the others are around. I don't know how Akito will think about our love and I really don't want us to end like Hatori and Kana. No way! I'm really afraid of Akito and I don't want him to tear us apart. So I came to the conclusion that we should keep our love a secret. That way we'll be able to get around a confrontation for some time. It's really sad that we can't live in freedom although we're so far from the Honke. But Shigure will probably tell Akito if he finds out that we're together. Maybe time will bring a better conclusion."  
  
For some time Tohru thought about what Yuki just said. Maybe it really was the best thing to do right now. She remembered what Hanajima had told her.  
  
"Yes, I think it's good like that. We should take small steps. Time will show /how/(what) the next step will look like."  
  
"Thank you for your understanding, Tohru-san. I love you." Yuki looked at her, thankfully  
  
"I love you, too, Yuki-kun!"  
  
Tohru felt a warm glow inside her body again.  
  
His face drew closer to hers slowly. Full of anticipation she came to meet him. Soon their lips would meet! Tohru closed her eyes.  
  
She felt his lips on hers. She couldn't hold back the sigh that was building up in her throat. Yes, she had been waiting for this the whole day long. She opened her mouth and welcomed his tongue. Her whole body shivered when their tongues met. He faintly tasted like strawberries. She loved strawberries.  
  
Yuki drew her closer. Their tongues danced, hooked up, played with each other. She never would have thought that this could be so wonderful. Tingles were crawling over her body. She tilted her head back a little away from him and let her tongue follow lightly around the contours of his lips. A sigh escaped Yuki's mouth. She let the tip meet his just to draw it back again. She drew her tongue around his mouth, and his followed. She played with him, he played with her. Their lips met again. The pressure on her lips increased, became more demanding. He drew her even closer towards him. His hand lay on her back, light as a feather, moving slowly upward. He drew his breath in faster, his hand had almost reached her breast. Oh, no, that was too early! That was a little too fast for her.  
  
Gently she pushed Yuki back: "No."  
  
"You're right. That's too fast." Had he read her thoughts? She was happy that he was so understanding. But she blushed when he looked at her anyway. It had been very exciting for her to kiss him again.  
  
"Yuki-kun, I love you!" She smiled at him, still breathless from their kiss.  
  
"I love you, too!" Yuki answered.  
  
"It's late already. I should go to bed now. Good night!" Tohru got up and was already on her way to the door when she had an idea. She turned around and went back to Yuki. Quickly she bent down and this time it was her stealing a kiss from Yuki's lips.  
  
She smiled silently at the surprised expression on his face and went back to the door. " Good night, Yuki-kun!"  
  
  
  
Next: First Steps  
  
Does Shigure have no common sense at all? How can he leave three teenagers alone in the house for a whole weekend? Three? No, in fact there are only two of them. Kyou intended to stay at the dojo. And what now? 


	3. First Steps

Disclaimer: This piece of work is not to be sold in any from. There's no authorization by Takaya Natsuki or Hana to Yume Comics. It's only for personal reading.  
  
Author's note: Mature contents!!! Thanks again to CarlaVII! You're really patient with me and don't get angry about my poor English. Writing fiction is a lot different to doing text-analysis and stuff like that!  
  
Rating: R (varying according to chapter)  
  
No Regrets  
  
III: First steps  
  
"Eeehhhhh? You'll be away for the whole weekend? Why?" Tohru was surprised. Shigure rarely spent more than a day away from home.  
  
"We just want to have some fun. Like back in the old days. Hatori, Ayame and me. And lots of beautiful girls. It's that simple." Humming to himself, he packed his last few things in his bag.  
  
"Oi, you can't just leave three teenagers alone at home!" Yuki complained. "Don't you have any common sense?"  
  
"Three? Kyou wanted to spend the weekend at the dojo. So it's just the two of you! You'll excuse me. Hatori just arrived. Have fun, you two! See you on Sunday!" He disappeared through the door.  
  
"What? You can't be serious! What is all that about? " Yuki shouted at him, but Shigure just waved his hand, smiling brightly.  
  
"That blockhead! And what now?" he turned towards Tohru.  
  
"Erm, I don't really know. But if you feel uncomfortable alone with me I'll ask Hana-chan if I can spend this weekend."  
  
"What are you talking about?" Yuki interrupted her. "Of course I don't mind being alone with you! On the contrary! We hadn't had the chance to be alone for such a long time!"  
  
That was correct. A lot of time had passed since that incident at the lake. Summer had passed, leaves were falling from the trees, it was getting colder.  
  
Although there had been moments when there had been only the two of them, those had been neither as numerous nor as long as they had wished them to be. And now this: a whole weekend at once.  
  
Yuki closed the front door. They went to the living room together and sat down.  
  
Both of them didn't dare to say a word. Both were embarrassed. Tohru didn't know at all what to say. Suddenly she was totally embarrassed that there was no one else in the house. It felt so strange!  
  
Usually they always had to be careful because someone could just walk in on them. This felt so different. Unlike bashful kisses when they secretly met on top of the roof at school (while Hana-chan and Uo-chan dealt with Kyou). Unlike holding hands in Yuki's little garden. Unlike good-night kisses when Kyou had fallen asleep in front of the TV once again. So terrifyingly different and new. And somehow very exciting. She couldn't bear the silence any longer and got to her feet.  
  
"I'll go and make dinner."  
  
But Yuki held her back. "No, stay!"  
  
He took her hand and pulled her back on the floor.  
  
"I know that this is a weird situation. But you should know that I love you. And I won't push you into something. I won't do anything you don't want me to. Trust me!" Thankfully she looked into his purple eyes. Her heart was filled with love for him. He was always very kind and respectful. It was really wonderful to have a friend like Yuki.  
  
As he bent towards her to kiss her, she just let it happen and enjoyed it. She enjoyed the silence in the house, the longed for twosomeness, Yuki's presence, his smell, his warmth. She was simply happy. With her eyes closed she forgot about the world around her. There was only Yuki and herself, united in a kiss that seemed to last eternities. Or had it only been a second? She had totally lost her sense of time, had sunken into the kiss, had been drifted away by waves of happiness. Could it become any better? Contentedly, she sighed.  
  
When their lips parted, both of them were out of breath.  
  
If someone had entered the door right then they would have been discovered. Tohru imagined Kyou's disconcerted look if it had been him. She giggled.  
  
"Nani?" Yuki asked.  
  
"Oh, nothing. Do you want something to eat now?"  
  
"Yes, if I'm allowed to share your company. And if Shigure left anything eatable in the house. It would just be like him to leave us without anything to eat."  
  
"Yes, you're right," Tohru giggled.  
  
Yuki's concern was wiped away when they opened the fridge: it was well stocked.  
  
When she had finished cooking, Yuki helped her set the table.  
  
They sat down to eat. It was exactly like back when she just had moved into the Sohma-house. Just the two of them. But something was different. Back then he had been her prince, now he was HER prince and she could still feel the pressure of his lips on hers. She closed her eyes and smiled happily.  
  
Yuki noticed that and looked at her with a questioning expression on his face.  
  
"I love you and I'm very happy." She explained to him.  
  
"I'm very happy with you, too, Tohru-san." He smiled back to her.  
  
***************************************************  
  
Tohru yawned and stretched. It had been late last night. She looked on her watch: half past ten already! Why didn't Yuki wake her up?  
  
She got up in a hurry and dressed. When she came into the kitchen Yuki was standing in front of the stove fumbling with the knobs. He was swearing in a low voice. On the countertop, the kettle was waiting.  
  
"Ohayoo, Yuki-kun!" she greeted him.  
  
He turned around at the sound of her voice and looked contritely at her.  
  
"Ohayoo. I wanted to make some tea because I can't make breakfast. Now I've been trying for half an hour but this stupid stove won't work."  
  
"Oh, that's so nice of you! Let me help you!" She went to the stove, turned the knob for the flame and pushed it shortly. Something clicked and the burner emitted small flames.  
  
"I'm just useless." Mad about his two left hands, he put the kettle on the flames.  
  
He looked so sweet as he was standing there, angry with himself, that Tohru just had to kiss him. "Of course you're useful, Yuki-kun! For kissing, for example!" She just couldn't get enough of his kisses. To feel his lips on hers, to taste him, to play with his tongue. She never had thought she could become addicted to that.  
  
Last night they had enjoyed that a lot, too. They had watched a movie, which Tohru originally had intended to watch on her own because it was an old love-story. But Yuki had insisted on sitting with her. So they had settled down in front of the TV together. He had put an arm around her and she had cuddled against him. After some time the movie hadn't been very important anymore. Her attention was drawn towards Yuki's presence. It had been so great to be alone with him for a whole evening!  
  
His presence made her feel secure, she could trust him. He had kept his promise and hadn't tried anything she wasn't ready for. So they had cuddled while they watched the movie. Tohru was very grateful for that. She still wasn't felling totally comfortable about this situation. But last night had shown her that he wouldn't take advantage of it. And she had been able to really enjoy their first good-night kiss without Kyou's snoring.  
  
Now she had a whole day with him in front of her. They would be able to live their love for a whole day without the fear of being discovered. Just the two of them for a whole day.  
  
She enjoyed his warmth, his lips on hers, his touch.  
  
The whistle of the teakettle brought her back to reality. She hadn't noticed that so much time had passed! Quickly she started preparing the food. "We didn't have breakfast and it's still too early for lunch, so I'll prepare some brunch. Is that alright with you?"  
  
"Of course! Everything you cook is very good!"  
  
As always Yuki kept her company as she prepared the food. It was a wonderful feeling to cook just for her beloved one. And that she didn't have to be alone doing that made her feel even better. She started to hum to herself. She liked doing housework, especially when she made other people happy with it.  
  
In the middle of their brunch the phone rang. Yuki picked it up. "Moshimoshi? - Yes, she's here. One moment, please." He came back into the room: "It's for you, Tohru-san." She looked at him, slightly irritated. Who could that be? On a Saturday? And he had called her Tohru-san, so it couldn't be a Sohma.  
  
"Moshimoshi?"  
  
"Hi, this is Uotani. I have a very urgent question for you: I want to redecorate my apartment but I'm not sure what color I should use to paint the walls. Could you help me pick the right color? Please!"  
  
What kind of question was that? Up to now Uotani had never given the impression of lacking a feeling for colors. Why today? Tohru got a little angry. She had intended to spend the whole day with Yuki. But Uotani had always been a good friend, and she was always there for her. So she couldn't just refuse to her request. "Yes, I'll come. I'm on my way." She hoped her friend wouldn't notice the disappointment in her voice.  
  
"Great! See you then! Bye!"  
  
Sadly, she sat down with Yuki again.  
  
"What happened?" he asked worriedly.  
  
"Actually I had been looking forward to spend this day with you but Uo-chan said she needs my help. So I told her I'd be right there."  
  
"Is that so?" Was she wrong or didn't he sound as disappointed as she had expected him to be? It didn't matter. Maybe she had just imagined it.  
  
She ate the rest of her meal in a hurry and got ready to leave. "I'll do the dishes when I get back."  
  
"See you later!" Yuki kissed her cheek.  
  
***************************************************  
  
He took a deep breath when she disappeared through the door. He had spent the entire morning organizing. He had called Uotani and Hanajima and he had been able to win them for his plan.  
  
Now Uotani had gotten Tohru out of the house under a very threadbare excuse. A short time later the doorbell rang. Yuki opened the door. Hanajima was standing there with a huge shopping bag in her arms.  
  
"Thank you for coming! Come inside!" Yuki greeted her.  
  
"You're very welcome. Tohru will be very surprised for sure! But now let's get started. Our time is limited."  
  
Yuki prepared the living room while Hanajima took care of the kitchen. Some time later the smell of tasty food filled the house.  
  
Two hours later, Hanajima said goodbye to Yuki. "If you need something special for dessert there's something in the bag. A very nice evening to you two. Let yourselves be swung by the waves. Sayonara."  
  
With a big question mark on his face, Yuki stood in the hallway. He wondered what she could have meant by that. So he went back into the kitchen and looked into the bag. There was no dessert. There were just some little packets made out of silvery foil on the bottom. He took one of them and looked closer. In big letters there was the word DUREX imprinted on the foil. Hm, what could that be? Small. square. with a round lump in the middle. a suspicion rose within him. Oh no! He dropped the package as if he had burnt himself. What had Hanajima been thinking about? That girl was really weird! Those thingies had to disappear before Tohru returned! He grabbed the bag and ran up the stairs. There he hid it under his futon. Feeling at ease, he went back downstairs.  
  
She would be back any minute now.  
  
He checked the living room one final time: was everything ready? Didn't he forget anything? He marked imaginary checkboxes in his mind: dishes? On the table. Roses? In a vase on the table. Candles? Ready to be lighted. Rose petals? Spread out on the floor. Tee lights? Already set alight in the corners of the room. Food? Still in the kitchen, ready to be served. Present? In his pocket.  
  
Everything was ready for her to return. If everything went as planned, Hanajima had called Uotani and indicated that Tohru was allowed to go home now. She could really be happy to have such friends. Who else but her best friend would cook when her own boyfriend was too stupid even to boil water?  
  
"Tadaima!" Tohru's sweet voice sounded adorable to his ears. In a hurry he lit the candles on the table.  
  
"Welcome back! Were you able to help Uotani?"  
  
"I don't really know. I don't even know if she needed my help at all. When we hadn't found any color that she liked after two hours of looking, she decided not to redecorate her apartment at all. Sorry for making you wait." She took off her shoes in a hurry.  
  
Yuki waited patiently. He was looking forward to seeing her face when she entered the living room. She would be really surprised!  
  
"Hm, is something wrong? You're smiling so weirdly!"  
  
He had forgotten to put on his poker face. "No, no. I'm just glad you're back, that's all."  
  
He took her hand and went to the living room with her. Slowly he opened the door and looked at her.  
  
There it was, that expression on her face: astonishment and surprise. He would give anything just to see it. She looked closely through the living room.  
  
He had really done a good job. Although he was too clumsy for some things this was something he had done well: the floor was spread with rose petals, there were tea lights in the corners of the room, emitting a warm light. The table was set solemnly with two roses in a longneck vase in the middle and candles on the sides.  
  
Yuki led her through the room to her place. Tohru still didn't say a word, but her face was speaking for itself.  
  
"Excuse me for a moment, please," Yuki said and disappeared into the kitchen. He returned shortly afterwards with steaming bowls in his hands. He put out the food on the table and sat down opposite to Tohru.  
  
"Why.? Is that for me?" Tohru finally found her voice.  
  
"I want to thank you. For your love, for your understanding. I want to say thank you for being with me. And I want you to forgive me for using your friend to get you out of the house. I'm sorry."  
  
"You don't have to be sorry for that! This is just wonderful! A thank-you? For what? I'm here anyway. And you love me, too, so I should be the one thanking you! Thank you for this beautiful surprise, Yuki-kun!"  
  
"I love you, Tohru," he said sincerely and looked deeply into her eyes. "I know that it's not always easy with me. We can't behave like a normal couple. We can't date and simply go to the movies or do something else because Kyou's with us all the time. We have to hide our love so we won't have to go through the things that happened to Hatori and Kana. But I don't want you to regret one day that you're with me. I don't want to lose you. Never. That's why I want to show you how much I love you."  
  
"I love you very much, too, Yuki. And you won't lose me. I'll be with you forever," she answered.  
  
"Thank you! But now let's eat. Hanajima worked so hard on this so we shouldn't let the food get cold. Itadakimasu!"  
  
He was surprised how easily the words came from his lips. He had been brooding the whole day long about what he should say, how to put his emotions into words.  
  
Although he had been pretty hungry he couldn't make himself eat one bite. He had to look at her the whole time. She said she would be with him forever. Was that true? It surely was because Tohru wasn't good in telling lies. But her words wouldn't get out of his head. He would never lose her. For the first time in his whole life he felt the pressure that he had put himself under was losing its grip. A relaxing easiness streamed through his body. .never lose. with you forever. absolutely happy would be the most fitting description for the emotional state he was in. Soon he would burst from joy.  
  
He felt a laughter building up in his throat. Soon it would be impossible to hold back. That laughter would contain all his feelings: Happiness, luck, contentedness, love. He couldn't hold it back anymore. So he just opened his mouth and let it out. He laughed with his whole heart. He felt like he was laughing for the very first time. And in some way it really was like that. He laughed and laughed and couldn't stop anymore. He was so happy! Finally he could be happy because he made others happy, too. He was so glad about that he laughed even harder.  
  
Tohru looked at him, at first questioningly, then concerned. She was wondering what was so funny about this situation. But Yuki was unable to explain anything to her because he couldn't stop laughing. She never had heard him laugh like that and he sounded so happy that she joined his laughter after a while. So they laughed together until they both were lying on the floor, gasping for breath. It took quite a while until Yuki had calmed himself down.  
  
"I'm sorry, Tohru-san. I felt so happy all of a sudden that I couldn't hold back the feeling. It wanted to get out and laughter was the only way to prevent me from bursting. Tohru-san, I love you, I love you! But now we really should eat or I'll wake up in the middle of the night, starving."  
  
He turned to his plate. And in his pocket he felt the light pressure of the little parcel he wanted to give to her later on.  
  
***************************************************  
  
It was a wonderful evening. She had never dreamed she would get such a surprise. So romantic! With candles, roses, a meal! Although she had been confused by his sudden outburst of laughter she had felt he wasn't laughing about her. The laughter had sounded like it had been sleeping inside of him for years just to see the light of day someday.  
  
She watched him eat and asked herself how he got the idea to this romantic dinner. And he had been able to win her friends for his plan. Not that it really mattered anyway. It was a wonderful way to thank her for something that was granted in her eyes.  
  
When he was done eating he looked at her.  
  
"Tohru, there's something else. The meal wasn't everything yet."  
  
He slid his hand in his pocket and held his hand out to her. On his hand there was a small parcel, wrapped in silvery paper.  
  
"This is for you."  
  
Tohru took it and unwrapped it carefully. Inside there was a green box. Slowly she lifted the lid. Inside there was. She couldn't hold back a sound of surprise. Inside there was an artistically stylized heart you could only recognize at second glance. She held it up so she could take a closer look. It was so beautiful! She turned it and after looking at it for some time she noticed a tiny Chinese character on the backside. It was the character for 'nezumi' - mouse.  
  
For the second time this evening she was speechless. She looked at Yuki with big eyes.  
  
"Do you like it?"  
  
"Yes, it's wonderful! Yuki-kun, it's really very, very beautiful! Are you sure I can wear something like that?"  
  
"Of course you can! And it's only half as beautiful as you are, Tohru-san."  
  
"Thank you, Yuki-kun! You're just too nice to me!"  
  
She gave him hug.  
  
Puff.  
  
"Oh no! I didn't mean to! I'm really very sorry! Gomen nasai!!!!!"  
  
She let him sit on her hand. She was totally embarrassed that she had forgotten about the curse again. But he just shook his head. "It's not that terrible. But I'm really glad you like your necklace. May help you putting it on later?"  
  
"Of course!" Softly she kissed his tiny snout. His whiskers tickled a little.  
  
Puff.  
  
The whiskers vanished. She felt his lips on hers. Their first kiss tonight! He still tasted faintly like the meal. His tongue pleaded for entrance and she yielded. Pleasantly, she closed her eyes. She played with his tongue and moved closer to him. She put her hands on his shoulders - and jerked back. Bare skin. bare.  
  
"Aaahhh! Gomen nasai! I totally forgot you just turned back! Gomen, gomen!" She turned around at once, red like a ripe tomato. She was so embarrassed! She wished the ground would open up and swallow her. Although she was used to the Sohmas changing back into their - naked - human form after some time by now there was something different this time. But what was that?  
  
Her body tingled. Was it because she touched him? It had only been a brief touch of his warm and soft skin. No, that wasn't it. Oh, yes. There had been none of the smoke that usually covered the lower part of the body. She had been able to see more of him than usual. And there had been THAT! She felt her head getting even hotter. And through her shame she noticed something else. But what was that? A warm feeling in her stomach that she had never felt before.  
  
"Tohru-san, you can turn around now. I'm dressed."  
  
"Gomen nasai! I had totally forgotten."  
  
"You don't have to apologize. Really. Shall I help you with the necklace now?"  
  
He didn't show if he noticed that she had seen him naked. It would probably be better not to let him know.  
  
"Yes, please." She gave the chain to him and turned her back towards him so he could reach her neck more easily. Lightly the necklace lay down on her skin. Yuki fumbled with the clasp for a while until he finally managed to close it.  
  
She turned around to face him and looked at him. She was filled with love. But now something else was mixed into her feelings. She longed to touch him again. Not like before. She wanted to feel his bare skin. His warm, soft skin.  
  
He took her hands and pulled her closer. His head bent down and their lips met. And there it was again, that warm feeling she didn't know. The desire to touch him was so strong that she gave in. Carefully she slid her hand to the hem of his shirt. Because he didn't seem to want to stop her she let her hand glide under the fabric. His skin was so terribly soft and warm. She caressed him gently. He moaned lightly under her tough and loosened their kiss. With both hands he softly combed through her hair.  
  
"Tohru. I have to sit down before I faint!"  
  
She giggled, ashamed.  
  
They sat down on the floor. He took her face in his hands and looked deeply into her eyes. Tohru melted like butter in the hot sun. No one on this earth ever looked at her as Yuki did. So filled with love, full of warmth, full of tenderness and full of happiness. Suddenly she felt like a little child. She needed him! She needed his presence, his warmth, his protection. She never wanted to be without him anymore. Never!  
  
"Yuki, I love you more than I ever loved before. Never leave me!"  
  
"No, I won't leave you." Yuki answered and pulled her face closer.  
  
Their lips touched, lightly at first, then with increasing pressure. His fingers ran down her neck. Again Tohru felt that weird tension in her stomach. The desire to caress him got stronger until she gave in again. Carefully she moved her hand under his shirt and touched his bare skin. A shiver ran through her body. She was electrified. The palm of her hand was vibrating.  
  
A warm touch on her back. Yuki had found the courage to follow her example and caressed her back. His touch was so warm and so light as if a leaf had fallen on her back. But still it fulfilled her with an unknown pleasure.  
  
She moved closer to him. Careful not to embrace him, she let her hands glide on Yuki's stomach. His skin was so soft! She felt his muscles quiver under her touch. He was so warm, so soft and so strong! She wanted more, wanted to feel his body touch hers! His bare skin on hers.  
  
Her hands moved along the button line of his shirt. He sat totally motionless in front of her. Slowly she opened the lowest button. Yuki whimpered lightly but he didn't move. She slowly unbuttoned one button after another until the shirt was opened completely. Cautiously she touched the light skin of his stomach. This time she could not only feel his muscles but also see them. Because of his training in martial arts his stomach was totally flat.  
  
Curiously she explored the newly discovered territory. She let her finger stroll over his muscles, stroked softly with her flat hand to learn every line. She couldn't get enough of touching his warm, soft skin.  
  
Her hands wandered to Yuki's shoulders and pushed the shirt down his arms. Now he was sitting in front of her with his chest totally bare. The warm feeling in her stomach grew stronger as she was looking at him.  
  
Kiss. She had to feel this tender, warm skin on her lips.  
  
She bent forward and kissed his neck softly. A muted moan escaped Yuki's mouth. But he still didn't move. So she trailed her lips further down his body. She covered his chest with her kisses, then his stomach. She kissed every inch of his skin.  
  
Then she lifted her head. His eyes were closed but when he realized she was looking at him he opened them. His cheeks were slightly red and he looked so sweet she had to kiss him.  
  
When she lifted her lips from his again he gave her an astonished gaze.  
  
"Actually I had intended to do something good for you tonight, Tohru! And now I'm being spoiled by you?"  
  
Tohru noticed she was turning red. "Ano. gomen. I shouldn't."  
  
But Yuki laid a finger softly on her lips. "No, don't say anything. I really enjoyed it. Should we go someplace more comfortable?"  
  
She nodded. Yuki stood up and helped her on her feet. He didn't let go of her hand when they walked up the stairs together. When they reached the top of the stairs he looked at her questioningly and walked into the direction of her room. She nodded briefly and they entered.  
  
"Now it's my turn. Tonight is my gift to you." With these words, he led her to her futon and she sat down on it.  
  
He knelt in front of her. "Trust me!" She nodded again, unable to gain a clear thought. Softly he pulled her head towards him and kissed her. His hands caressed her back. But then they changed directions and moved down her shoulders towards her breasts. She felt a little uneasy at the beginning but she had promised to trust him. So she closed her eyes and enjoyed his touch.  
  
At first he discovered the curve of her breasts; down the outside, along the bottom, up the inside. Lightly, he placed his hands on her shoulders and let them slide down. He touched her nipples gently and let his fingers circle over them. Tohru felt her nipples getting harder. Low in her stomach that warm tension was increasing. Her breath was getting faster.  
  
Yuki kissed her softly and started to unbutton her blouse. Then he carefully pushed it down her shoulders. Before he started unhooking her bra, he looked at her. When she didn't make any move to stop him, he opened her bra and slid the straps from her shoulders. He put blouse and bra aside. With a light pressure on her shoulders he told her to lie down. Slowly he lay down beside her.  
  
His hand on her bare skin! She had butterflies in her stomach. His touch was like a warm summer breeze. Her nipples were small hard peaks. As she had done before, he explored her body. Had it been so pleasing for him, too? Surely! She closed her eyes and drifted away on the waves of tenderness. His warm, soft hand brushed over her skin, his kisses covered her face.  
  
She stretched out a hand to feel him next to her. Again she was taken by surprise by the softness of his skin. She turned to face him. For a long time they just lay there, caressing each other and enjoyed each other's fondling.  
  
He looked so cute as he was lying beside her. His wonderful eyes were closed, his lips, reddened by the many kisses they had shared, were tempting her again. She bent forward and breathed a kiss on his mouth.  
  
Following an urge she was feeling deep inside her, she put a hand on his shoulder and pressed him softly backwards. Now he was lying on his back. She caressed his bare chest. The touch of his skin awakened a desire for more. Slowly, her hand slid down his stomach. Her eyes fell on an eagerness in his pants. Could that be him? What might it feel like? Her breath was speeding up, she was curious and aroused. Cautiously, she let her finger wander under the waistband of his pants.  
  
But then Yuki pushed her hand away, softly but decidedly.  
  
"No, Tohru. Not tonight. That's too early."  
  
A little disappointed, she pulled back her hand. But she could understand it. He was right. The time wasn't right for that. Both of them would surely have regretted it if they had gone farther. They still had so much time in front of them so they could take just small steps.  
  
She laid her head on his chest. His heart was beating fast and light. His breath was calming down slowly. Tohru closed her eyes.  
  
It was very comforting to listen to his heartbeat. Her arousal decreased. Yuki touched her hair softly. Slowly she got sleepy.  
  
When she raised her head to give him a good-night-kiss she noticed he had already fallen asleep. So she laid her head on her pillow and closed her eyes. It was so new for her not having to fall asleep alone. She cuddled against him and drifted into the sphere of dreams shortly after that.  
  
  
  
  
  
I'm sorry if I disappointed some of you by not letting them have sex. But then they wouldn't have anything new to discover in the next chapters. That would be pretty boring, wouldn't it? I'm not really sure what'll happen next so I can't give any teasers. Thank you for your nice reviews! 


	4. Discovered

Disclaimer: This piece of work is not to be sold in any from. There's no authorization by Takaya Natsuki or Hana to Yume Comics. It's only for personal reading.  
  
Author: Chi-san  
  
Rating: PG 13 (varying according to chapter)  
  
No Regrets  
  
IV. Discovered  
  
He looked at his alarm-clock. Half past eleven. Patiently he waited. It would come anyway.  
  
And there it was: gentle footsteps outside his door. They came from Yuki's room and tiptoed down the hallway. A furtive knock, followed by almost inaudible whisper. A door opened, the footsteps vanished.  
  
This had been going on for quite while now. One or two times a week, Yuki sneaked into Tohru's room. They didn't study for school there, that was obvious. But Shigure hadn't dared to spend a second thought on that yet. His little cousin was the younger brother of one of his best friends, after all. And a love-affair would have to be announced to Akito. However, at that age it wasn't even sure how long love would last. When he had been that age. He giggled. A little longingly he remembered the many times when he had climbed out of his window to visit girls. And his parents were worried why he never got enough sleep. Later he had hung out with Ayame, picking up girls.  
  
He was a little jealous of Yuki. His cousin didn't have to do acrobatic exercises to get to his girl.  
  
The two of them hid their love pretty well. They had always spent a lot of time together so he hadn't noticed anything at first. In retrospect there were, of course, some strange things. For example, they had both been pretty embarrassed when he had asked them if they had spent the time well after he had returned from his weekend with Hatori and Ayame. On the other, hand he had wanted them to be embarrassed. And ever since then Tohru wore a necklace with a small charm. Moreover they always were very tired and breathless when they returned from Yuki's little garden.  
  
He probably still wouldn't have noticed anything if he hadn't been struck by inspiration in a dream three weeks ago. That had been so excellent that he had to write it down at once. When he started to leave his bedroom to go into his office he had heard footsteps in the hallway. Surely that was Baka Neko who had spent half the night sulking on the roof. Shigure almost opened the door and to tease the stealthy Neko when the steps stopped. And Kyou's room was on the other end of the hall. There was something else going on!  
  
During the next few nights, he had lurked behind his door to find out what was happening inside his own house behind his back. And he learnt this: around half past eleven, when the other inhabitants usually were asleep, Yuki sneaked out of his room and vanished behind Tohru's door. At about five in the morning the spectacle reversed itself. That didn't happen every night, but at least two or three times a week he could hear the gentle footsteps.  
  
If he could just make a remark about it! He really enjoyed embarrassing others. Yuki always got mad at him, Kyou threatened to beat him up, Hatori countered with old stories and Tohru dropped her eyes, blushing. Superb! He giggled again.  
  
He really would have made stupid comments about Yuki's nightly visits to Tohru's room if the situation hadn't been so serious. But he wanted to wait and see first. Maybe the problem would solve itself. The two of them were still young after all. Marriage was out of the question. Nonetheless Akito would be very, very angry if he found out later on that there had been something going on behind his back.  
  
Shigure didn't know what Akito's reasons were to let Tohru live with them. He had thought it over and over but it still puzzled him. Not that he had anything against it. He had come to like Tohru. The house was clean like never before, the food was excellent, and most importantly, Tohru's friends sometimes paid her a visit. Hanajima was a little freaky, but Uotani was really cute. And it gave him the excuse to go to her school. There were so many cute high school girls that he just couldn't get enough. If only the uniforms were a little shorter! He sighed with yearning.  
  
No, those dreams had to wait. Determined, he pushed those thoughts away. He had to find a solution for the Tohru-Yuki-problem.  
  
Akito hated Tohru although he let her live in the Sohma-house and hadn't erased her memories. Shigure didn't even want to imagine what he would do to her if the affair was discovered. And Yuki had always suffered from Akito's whims.  
  
On the other hand, Shigure was loyal towards the head of the clan. He didn't like to keep things from him. Back then when Tohru discovered the curse, he had gone to him at once. But Tohru had been a total stranger to him then. Today she was a member of his household.  
  
She had also caused a lot of positive changes within the Juunishis' personalities. Especially between Kyou and Yuki, the atmosphere wasn't so tense anymore. Kyou had become more presentable. Yuki seemed to be more relaxed. Hatori smiled more often. And Momiji had taken a shine to her.  
  
Oh, of course Yuki was more relaxed now! He got a regular special dose of Tohru! Shigure chuckled. He wondered how far those two might have come by now. Had they already.  
  
He had lost his thread again. This was too important. He could fantasize about his cousin's love-life later on.  
  
Hatori was probably the worst example for the tragic end of a relationship. He had suffered a lot from Akito's reaction. Not only physically.  
  
Since Akito had become head of the clan, the number of marriages had decreased considerably. Now that he thought about it, Shigure noticed that all of the Juunishi were unmarried. Not only the children, but also the ones who could have been already enjoying the state of matrimony. Hatori had been the last one to ask for a permission.  
  
Shigure knew Akito since the latter one had been a little child. He had been easier to handle when he was younger. Also Shigure pitied the ailing head of the clan a little. He was more or less bond to the house and could only go outside when his health was good enough. And usually that wasn't the case. But still his moods were inexplicable and unpredictable. And Shigure didn't want to be the object of one of his outbursts.  
  
So he had to find a compromise. If he went to Akito, Tohru would have to leave the house if not something worse was waiting for her. Nevertheless, he had to go to Akito. Shigure would be punished terribly if Akito found out from someone else what was going on in Shigure's house. And he really didn't want to lose his house. He didn't want to move back to the main house where everything was under Akito's control.  
  
What should he do? Was there a golden mean? Maybe he should talk to Yuki first and find out how serious the situation was. If it was just teenagers fooling around, he could just forget about it.  
  
But he didn't even know when the whole affair had started. He was pretty sure that at least since his trip with Hatori and Ayame there was more than friendship between the two. That was two months ago, by now. What if the affair had been going on for a lot longer? Then it had to be serious. Yes, he definitely had to talk to Yuki.  
  
After this decision he had to think of a good point in time. Best would be to take care of the matter as soon as possible. The sooner dealt with it, the sooner the pain would be forgotten if the worst came true.  
  
Maybe he should do a little investigation about the intensity of the relationship. If it was pure sex, then it wouldn't be worth worrying about it. True feelings would be something different. True feelings meant an honest love-relationship. And that meant going to Akito, who would decide about their future.  
  
Tomorrow he would take a look around Yuki's room. There he would probably find something. Maybe love-letters (not good at all!), porn-magazines (good, then it would be just an experiment with a real girl) or something like that.  
  
When he, Shigure, had been that age he had loved to experiment with real girls. His animal-form had been a great advance then. What girl didn't like to pet a dog? And he had really enjoyed copying the bad habits of other dogs. Dogs liked to sniff people, dogs looked under skirts, dogs got lost sometimes. For example, in changing-rooms.  
  
Shigure giggled. That had been really fun! He just had had to be careful not to change back too early. But he had found out about female anatomy and scent pretty early.  
  
Later, when he had hung out with Ayame and Hatori, this knowledge had been very advantageous. He had been able to make out from a distance which girls had been willing to spend the night with him. Ayame had profited from that too because girls rarely went out alone. Only Hatori had spent most of the nights in his own bed. Shigure sighed longingly. Those times were over.  
  
Most women his age were either married or in long-term relationships. High school girls were rarely interested in him. Nights out with Ayame and Hatori had become rare. Hatori had a serious job, which kept him very busy. Ayame spent most of his nights designing clothes. If he would just design something useful, like, for example, extra-short school uniforms. but the gowns Ayame made did nothing for Shigure's simple mind.  
  
Extra-short school uniform. he really liked that thought. Then he wouldn't even have to strain himself to look underneath the skirts. That would be heaven on earth! With these thoughts he fell asleep, a broad smile on his face.  
  
***************************************************  
  
"Ittekimasu!" The door fell shut behind his three housemates. Now he could start looking through Yuki's room without being interrupted.  
  
He opened the door. Yuki's room was amazingly tidy. He had to be careful that he put everything back like it was so no one would notice that he sniffed around in other people's rooms.  
  
Where to start? The drawer for underwear would be the most likely place to hide secrets. Down to work! Slightly ashamed, he sorted through the neatly folded briefs. Nothing. He mused for a minute. Maybe there was a loose panel on the floor. He crept through the room, knocking on the panels. Nothing again. His eyes went to the closet. There? He pushed the coat hooks aside. There was nothing on the bottom, either.  
  
He gave up, disappointed. There was nothing at all. Not even the slightest hint. He glanced through the room. Apart from the futon there was no place else to hide something here. Oh, he hadn't taken a closer look at the futon yet! He lifted up the mattress. There was something! Small packets. He took one of them for closer investigation.  
  
"Hahahaha!" He started laughing. His little cousin hid condoms under his futon! That was something he hadn't thought he would find! Oh, well, but hiding condoms didn't really mean that they would be used as well. This wasn't a real clue for the nightly migration's reason.  
  
What now? He looked at his watch. He still had plenty of time. And sniffing around was really fun! Why stop now? This affair involved two people. Should he search through Tohru's room, too? No. Tohru was a girl. Her things were none of his business. On the other hand it could be even more interesting just because she was a girl. Girls kept a lot of things. A short look around her room would do no harm.  
  
He walked to the other end of the hallway. Hesitant, he stood in front of the door. For a short time he fought with himself, but his curiosity won. He entered the room and was surrounded by female fragrance. Sure enough a faint hint of Yuki's smell mingled with the scent. He frowned.  
  
Shigure went to the wardrobe and opened it. He repeated the search as in Yuki's room. And again he found nothing. And here he really didn't want to search through the underwear drawer. Did he? No, he was a mature man! On the other hand, he had been wondering for some time what Tohru's knickers looked like.  
  
And again curiosity won. This time the expression on his face was a little different than in Yuki's room. A broad smile sneaked on his face. It was real fun here! Neatly folded, Tohru's panties lay in the drawer. Most of them were white cotton, some a pale pink. Carefully he lifted up a stack. Oh, what was lying there? Something small and black that looked very lonely and lost. Shigure put the stack of cotton knickers away to inspect his new discovery.  
  
Oh, yes, it looked familiar. Sometimes girls he had gone home with had worn something like that. This thing was basically yelling to be taken off. Black lace, more air than fabric. A cute little pair of string bikini panties. Did Tohru really wear something like this? She probably had bought this for Yuki's nightly visits. Shigure snickered. Yuki really was lucky!  
  
He cautiously put the panties back into the drawer to take a look beneath the other stacks, too. But apart from bras and other underwear he didn't find anything. Didn't they write love-letters? How unromantic!  
  
Maybe here beneath the futon, too? He lifted up the mattress. Nothing.  
  
Totally disappointed, he left the room. He had looked for a hint the whole morning. But apart from condoms in Yuki's room and some lingerie in Tohru's he hadn't found anything. What now?  
  
He could observe if the number of condoms under Yuki's futon changed. That would be a sure sign that they were being used. And what would that mean? Actually nothing. But if they weren't being used that would be a sure sign that the affair between Yuki and Tohru wasn't just pure sex.  
  
All right. He would keep an eye on the condom stash. Then he would decide what to do.  
  
***************************************************  
  
For over a week he peeked every morning after everybody had left under Yuki's futon. But the number had stayed the same. Now he had to prepare himself for a serious conversation with Yuki.  
  
Suddenly he didn't know anymore if that really was such a good idea. He was torn between loyalty for Akito and fondness for Yuki. But he couldn't help it. He had to continue with his plan.  
  
***************************************************  
  
"Why?" Yuki yelled at Shigure. "Why do you have to tell Akito? Every time my life is going normal, every time I'm happy he destroys everything! I can't let that happen! I don't want to lose Tohru! Did you consider what'll happen to her when Akito can't tolerate our relationship? Where is she supposed to go? She doesn't have anybody but us!"  
  
"Yuki-kun, ."  
  
"No! We kept our relationship a secret for a reason! I saw it coming! I knew you would run to Akito right away, like a little snitch!" He hit the table with his hand. No! I won't permit."  
  
"Yuki-kun, don't excite yourself, it."  
  
"What? I shouldn't excite myself? You horrible egoist! Tattling to Akito is more important to you than our friend! You're disgusting!" He got up, turned his back on Shigure and banged the door shut behind him.  
  
He needed to talk to Tohru, but first he had to calm down. So he climbed up the ladder onto the roof. It was very cold, but at least he was on his own. His breath formed little clouds in front of his mouth. He sat down and thought about the matter.  
  
Of course it had to come to this. In secret, he had been expecting this. It had gone too good for too long. But he still had nursed a small spark of hope that Shigure would have reacted in a different way. Now everything was over.  
  
Pictures of the last few years appeared in his head: Tohru, just having moved in. Tohru, calling him by his first name for the first time. Tohru, floundering through awkward moments. The thunderstorm at the lake. Their first kiss. The necklace he gave to her and which she was wearing now all the time. Their first night alone. His nightly visits to her room.  
  
Should all of this have come to an end now? No, no, no, no! He had sworn to himself not to end up like Hatori. Even when it meant to fight against the whole clan, he would defend his love! He got on his feet and lifted his fit against the sky.  
  
"I will not give in! Never!"  
  
Filled with fighting, spirit he descended from the roof and knocked gently on Tohru's door.  
  
"Yes?"  
  
"It's me, Yuki. Can I come in?"  
  
"Yes, come in."  
  
He entered the room. Tohru sat on her Futon, a book on her knees. Yuki sat down next to her and suddenly he didn't know how to start. After some time Tohru broke the silence.  
  
"What's wrong? Did something terrible happen?"  
  
"Shigure has. He found out everything."  
  
With big eyes she looked at him. "And what now?"  
  
"Of course he'll go to Akito and tell him. But I will stop him. I don't want us to be apart! I want to spend the rest of my life with you!"  
  
"How do you want to prevent him from going to Akito?"  
  
"I don't know. But somehow I'll manage that. There will be a way."  
  
"Are you sure? I disagree. Shigure will go there at any rate."  
  
Yuki felt anger growing inside him again. But Tohru continued quietly: "The only thing we can do now is to beat him there. If we went there ourselves he maybe wouldn't be as angry as when he hears it from someone else."  
  
"Which side are you on? Didn't you learn anything from the tragedy with Hatori and Kana? Akito will never tolerate us staying together. Furthermore, he will punish both of us because we went behind his back. Do you want that?"  
  
"What alternatives do we have? Shall we run away and hide the rest our lives? Does that sound better to you? That would be like an affirmation for Akito! And he will look for us. Yuki-kun, I don't want to live a life in fear of being discovered."  
  
"What do you want, then?"  
  
"I'll go to the Honke tomorrow morning and pay Akito a visit. Then I'll see how he'll react. Maybe it won't be that bad, after all."  
  
"I won't let you go there by yourself! We'll go together. This is about us. About our future! I swore to protect you!"  
  
"No, I'll go alone. That's better, I think. It mustn't look like I need reinforcements to talk to him. If you came with me he might think I can't talk for myself."  
  
"You could ask Hatori to."  
  
"No. That would be the same. I have to go alone."  
  
She looked at him with determined eyes.  
  
"Good. If you're so sure about it I can't hold you back. So my part will be to wait for you."  
  
"Thank you. Will you stay with me tonight? I don't want to be alone although I have to prepare myself for the conversation. And we don't have to hide anymore. I need you close to me right now."  
  
"Of course I'll stay. When I can't support you tomorrow, but I can at least do that for you tonight."  
  
"Thanks."  
  
***************************************************  
  
Tohru lay awake for a long time and thought about how she would face Akito the next day. Yuki gave her strength, but would that be enough? She didn't want to lose him! For nothing in the whole world! She wanted to be with him no matter what.  
  
His presence was comforting. The whole evening he held her hand without saying a word. She had to convince Akito that their love was important. She wasn't allowed to show any weakness. Weaknesses would be exploited.  
  
"Okasan, do I really have the strength to stay through this?" quietly she asked her mother's picture so she wouldn't wake up Yuki. "Am I really strong enough? He's the most important thing in my life. I don't ever want to be without him! Why does this have to be so difficult? Will I be able to do what I intend to?"  
  
Akito's reaction was unpredictable. Tohru expected the worst, hoping it wouldn't come to that. She had feared before to lose her memories. But at that time it hadn't come to that. Maybe it wouldn't this time. Speculating didn't help. The coming day would show what Akito would do. And she had an important reason to see the head of the clan.  
  
For Yuki. For Yuki she had to be strong enough to face Akito. For Yuki.  
  
  
  
Author's comments: Sorry it took me so long to update! I was really very busy with studying and working at the same time so I didn't have much time left to spend on other things. I'll be faster with the next chapter, promise! 


	5. Benediction

Disclaimer: This piece of work is not to be sold in any from. There's no authorization by Takaya Natsuki or Hana to Yume Comics. It's only for personal reading.  
  
Author's comments: Thanks to all the people who reviewed! You really encouraged me to continue! And special thanks to Carla VII. You're really great in helping me with my fiction and correcting my mistakes. This is the censored version. You can find the original version here:  
  
and here  
  
Rating: PG17 - censored version (varying according to chapter)  
  
No Regrets  
  
V. Benediction  
  
... did you really believe . naïve cunt . slut . useless . not admit . away . sneak in . never . never . NEVER .  
  
Shreds of the previous conversation spun through her head. She ran through the streets, aimless, without knowing where she was nor how much time had passed. Rain had soaked through her clothes but she didn't even notice it. Tears ran down her face and dissolved into the raindrops.  
  
If they had just run away! Then they could have stayed together! But now she was facing a decision that was almost impossible for her to make.  
  
Akito had raged. He had yelled at her and cursed her. She had stayed calm and tried to get through to him with words. But he hadn't listened and foisted a terrible choice on her. She had managed to keep her poker face until she was through the gate and on the street.  
  
Then she hadn't been able to hold back her tears anymore. In despair, she had started running, aimless. She had just wanted to get away. Away from that terrible mansion that had caused her fear right from the beginning.  
  
Everything, she had lost everything. No matter what she chose, there was no way out.  
  
Sobbing and weak, she fell onto her knees. How could she explain Yuki what decision Akito had dumped upon her? Yuki! Yuki! She had lost her fight.  
  
The only thing left now was departure. Departure from the Sohmas, departure from Yuki. She couldn't just leave. She owed Yuki an explanation. But how could she do that? If she told him tonight he would probably go to Akito right away and that would make everything even worse. She had to be more careful.  
  
She thought about it and made up a plan. Yes, that's how she would do it. Determined and with new energy she got up and made her way to the Sohma- house for the last time.  
  
***************************************************  
  
Yuki was expecting her at the door. "Where have you been for such a long time? I was worried about you!"  
  
Quickly she made up an excuse. "I met Uo-chan on the way. We went to have a coffee."  
  
"And your meeting with Akito? How did it go?"  
  
"It went alright. But I don't want to talk about it right now. I have to get my thoughts in order first."  
  
"You're totally wet! Come on in and take a hot shower so you don't get a cold!"  
  
She tried to smile. "Yes, I will."  
  
Slowly, she went into her room, got undressed and slipped into her dressing- gown. Then she went into the shower. The hot water felt good. She hadn't even noticed that she had been freezing.  
  
When she returned to her room Yuki was sitting on her futon. "Can you talk now?"  
  
She shook her head. "No. Tomorrow."  
  
"All right. I don't want to push you. But if you want to tell me about it, please, do so!"  
  
"I really can't do it tonight. I'm sorry. Do you want to stay with me tonight?"  
  
Yuki looked at her, surprised. She distorted her lips and hoped it looked like a smile.  
  
"I don't want to sleep alone, " she tried to explain.  
  
"Of course! Did it really go well?"  
  
"Yes, yes. Please, let's talk about something else now! I have to sleep on it for a night first."  
  
This night would be her farewell- gift. She wanted to be with him this last time. Tears streamed down her face and she turned her head so he wouldn't notice. How badly she just needed to hold him right now and be embraced by his arms. Never, never again she would be able to be with him. Convulsively, she tried to fight her tears.  
  
But nothing could soothe the pain she was feeling. So she got up and turned out the light so he wouldn't see the tears on her face.  
  
She sat down next to him and took his hand. Tonight she would give him all she could give. For the first and last time she wanted to be one with him. She led his hand to her breast. With the other one she unbuttoned his shirt. Then she scooted closer to him and kissed him. Her kiss was demanding, despaired. She helped him out of his clothes and let down her dressing-gown.  
  
Softly, she pressed him into her pillows and bowed over him. She kissed his mouth, then she covered his face with kisses. Slowly she moved down his neck. Every millimeter of his chest was touched by her lips, making their way slowly downward.  
  
In the last weeks they had been learning a lot about each other's bodies. They had cuddled, kissed, caressed each other. She knew where she had to touch him to get him aroused.  
  
Of course it hadn't been perfect from the start. A lot of times she had had to wait until he had turned into his human form again. But after some time those accidents had become rarer and rarer. They had learned to bypass the curse.  
  
She caressed and kissed him, giving him all she had to give. They made love, slowly and tenderly, until both reached their climax.  
  
Then the feeling mellowed down. Wet with sweat and breathless, Yuki retreated from her and lay down beside her. He kissed her passionately. Still trying to catch her breath, Tohru kissed him back with all the love she had inside her.  
  
When they parted their lips, Yuki fell back onto the bed, exhausted. Softly he caressed her stomach. After some time he broke the silence.  
  
"Tohru?"  
  
"Yes?"  
  
"I love you!"  
  
"I love you, too, Yuki!"  
  
Suddenly she felt very tired. It had been a very long and terrible day. For one last time she wanted to sleep next to her lover, wanted to feel his heartbeat, hear his breath.  
  
She lay her head on his chest just like back when they had spent their first night together. Again his heartbeat comforted and soothed her.  
  
One last time.  
  
*************************************************** Yuki woke up early in the morning. He rolled over but the bed next to him was empty. Where was Tohru?  
  
Confused, he sat up. There was something lying on the pillow. A letter. He tore open the envelope and started to read.  
  
"My dearest Yuki,  
  
I'm sorry that I have to leave you like this. But, believe me, it's best for the both of us.  
  
It didn't go alright yesterday. Not at all. Akito yelled at me and insulted me. And he dumped a terrible choice upon me.  
  
Both alternatives were horrible to me, but I made a decision. Believe me, it wasn't easy for me at all.  
  
One alternative was to erase the memory of our time together. Not only mine but also yours. The other one was that I disappear from your life.  
  
The memory of you is too dear to me. I don't want to miss a second, not even one. I never want to forget you. Never.  
  
That's why I went away this morning. I don't know where, but somehow I'll make it. Please don't look for me.  
  
I don't know how I'll be able to live without you but we're not allowed to be together.  
  
I'm incredibly sorry that I didn't tell you yesterday. But if you had gone to Akito in anger you would have made it even worse. I didn't want you to feel his anger as well.  
  
Please, don't go to see him. You can't change it anymore, and I don't want him to hurt you.  
  
I know, I can't ease your pain. But, please, try to look into the future and forget the past.  
  
Last night was my farewell-gift to you. I will cherish it in my heart and always think of you.  
  
The time with you was the happiest of my life. No one can take away the memory of that time. It's the most important thing I have.  
  
Now I'm writing this letter. You're still sleeping in my bed. I don't want to wake you because that would make leaving impossible for me. I don't want to be without you but there's no way out.  
  
I tried to fight for our love but I wasn't strong enough.  
  
Maybe fate will lead us together under better circumstances in our next lives.  
  
I love you forever.  
  
Sayonara,  
  
Tohru"  
  
The words swam in front of his eyes. Hot tears ran down his cheeks and dripped onto the paper. She was gone.  
  
She was gone and wouldn't return. Paralyzed, he sat on the bed in which they had made love just a few hours ago. Unbelieving, he stared at the letter in his hands. His eyes ran over the lines again and again.  
  
Unbearable pain spread in his chest. He had lost his happiness forever. How should he carry on living without her, without her presence?  
  
With despair he covered his face with his hands cried bitterly until he fell asleep again from exhaustion.  
  
***************************************************  
  
Epilogue  
  
She lowered the newspaper and watched the children playing in the playground. A small boy waved to her shortly before continuing shoveling sand into his little bucket.  
  
Tohru's eyes wandered back to the article she had just read. A young, up and coming architect had just won the competition for a museum of modern art in Tokyo. A photo of a young handsome man adorned the article. Although the picture was in black and white she would never forget the man's purple eyes. She would never forget him.  
  
For him she had given up everything. She had fought her way through the last few years, had managed to build up her own life. Her friends had helped her whenever they could although they didn't understand why they had to keep it a secret.  
  
She didn't know if he still remembered her. She had left without saying goodbye. But she had taken something with her that night that nobody could take away from her. Her memories of that night were still so lively that it could have been yesterday. No, she would not forget him. His eyes that had looked at her so softly, his hands that had caressed her.  
  
She would keep that memory for the rest of her life. Nothing and nobody could take this from her.  
  
She dived out of her memories. It was getting chilly. Time to leave.  
  
"Shinta, we have to leave! It's time to go home!"  
  
The little boy who had waved his hand earlier looked at her with his big purple eyes and ran towards her. 


End file.
